Outbursts & Breakdowns: The Return

It's one of the times when I'm cold, I feel low, and tears just can't stop flowing like wine. I feel useless and all my crying is pointless and unreasonable. And all I want is to plant a bullet in my brain in order for it to wake up and start thinking in a rational, normal way.

So, let's just assume that all this bipolar behavior stems from stress, anxiety and pressure. How come, then, and I think of nothing when I burst into crying my guts out? Shouldn't I think of the reasons of these frequent breakdowns? Or do they actually hit me when I'm in my happiest of times so I don't perceive them, and when the time comes they attack the most vulnerable part of me? Oh, fucking hell! This makes no sense!

I'll just have to swallow the whole situation anyway, and learn to live with it, or else I'm going to die, cold, feeling low and crying.